Category Archives: perspective

Fragments of myself

13 Comments

I have been reflecting a lot lately – looking back at the phases of my life where I defined myself in terms of my relationships with other people.  I even introduced myself with those titles.  I was always a daughter, a sister, a step-mom, a wife (now ex-wife) and it has only been recently that I have begun to describe myself in terms of who I really am – me.

All of those monikers are still a big part of who I am, or was, but they are only pieces of my bigger puzzle.  I have found new ways to describe myself that truly incorporate the essence of me and not just how my being relates to other people.  After years of missing the most integral part of who I am, I have found the proper words to define myself.

puzzle-pieces

(image credit: loridennis.com)

In the past, I had deconstructed myself and put smaller pieces of me into everyone else’s puzzle.  I was happy to be the daughter or the sister.  I didn’t feel lost nor did I feel any sense of being an incomplete person.  I merely slipped into the shadows of the lives around me.  I became an extension of them and the fault of that circumstance was all mine.

After many months of contemplative thought I have become aware of a new sense of self – a confidence to simply extend my hand and introduce myself with only my name.  There is no longer a follow-up delineation of how I relate to anyone other than myself.  I am, in the simplest of definitions, me.

Those fragments of myself constitute a big part of my life but they are no longer words I use to acquaint myself with anyone new in my life.  Eventually those pieces of my puzzle will fall into their rightful place but that place is not the definition of who I am.

Cloudy with a chance of winter

8 Comments

I was entertaining myself at work by going through all of the pictures I have stored on my phone and realized I had been hiding these awesome shots of what I love to photograph the most – clouds.

I love the wisps and the way the trees hold them in the frame.

IMG_9

Clouds resembling a raging forest fire.

IMG_0720

I love, love, love the mixture of colors in these clouds.

IMG_0732

The first thing I saw in these clouds was the yellowish face on the right.  It looks like he is trying to blow the clouds away.

face

And this was taken a few months ago, but I just love the texture in the sky.

IMG_0638

Clinging to a life – Trifecta challenge

12 Comments

Orbs of white light,

phantom spirits circling,

lingering, clinging to a life they once knew,

a life they chose not to leave.

The pull of emotion, of attachment,

keeps them here in physical world

longing to prove they still exist.

They travel with us through darkness,

longing to reach out, to touch flesh.

They reside with us in sleep.

They hover, watching us during our slumber.

They bathe in the light of our life force,

pausing  in the shadows,

unseen by the human eye.

They reveal themselves in pictures,

longing for us to feel their presence

and know that they are still with us.

They cloak us in comfort,

their love too strong to let us go,

too strong to pass fully to the other side.

orbs

~

(image credit: greatdreams.com)

Written for the Trifecta Challenge: Now, onto this week’s prompt. We’re still not totally spooked out by you guys yet and we’re a little way from Halloween proper so get your ghoul glad rags on again this week. If there’s anyone who puts the ghoul in ghoulish, it’s you lot. Have fun and, as always, make sure you use the THIRD definition. This week we are back to entries of 33-333 words.

PHANTOM (noun) 1   a :  something apparent to sense but with no substantial existence :  APPARITION      b :  something elusive or visionary      c :  an object of continual dread or abhorrence 2 :  something existing in appearance only

3 :  a representation of something abstract, ideal, or incorporeal – See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.QecVLKnT.dpuf

The Silver Lining – 100 Word Challenge

6 Comments

“What will Heaven be like?”  Her youthful eyes looked to him for answers.

His breathing tubes got in the way when he tried to speak to her. “You know when you see a really dark rain cloud and most of it is black?”

She nodded her agreement.

“Well, Heaven will be like those glorious slices of silver light that radiate around the cloud. Those little pieces of light give everyone hope for something better.”

She curled up under her Grandfather’s arm and held him as closed his eyes. She knew he was on his way to find that silver light.

clouds 008

Written for the 100-Word Challenge over at Julia’s Place.  Photo credit is all my own.

Don’t rain on my parade

7 Comments

You get the sensation – the sudden feeling of elation.  The world seems to rotate on an axis to simply line all of your stars in the perfect cosmic placement.  The sky seems to be saturated with a deeper hue of blue, the air seems crisper and more full of promise than you ever remember and you find yourself smiling for no particular reason.  Things are finally going your way.

And then it happens.  One person, and it only ever takes one, says something to make you doubt the happiness that you are feeling and that balloon of contentment bursts.  Random pieces of that blissful moment lay in tatters at your feet, the skies mottle and the heavens open up to rain on your parade.

It’s a perverse world we live in when we can let others dictate what should make us happy.  The moments that cause us to smile uncontrollably should be locked in a private vault, only to be shared with precious few that will understand the true feelings behind that blissful expression.   True happiness is a rare discovery and those that are fortunate to have found it should not have that perception marred by the opinions of anyone other than themselves.

Your steadfast belief in what truly makes you happy cannot be argued – by anyone.  It is your head, it is your heart and it is your soul that leads you to true euphoria.  Always carry an umbrella, and don’t let anyone rain on your parade.

I am simply me

6 Comments

I am me.  There is nothing more or less to me.  When you look at me you see me at face value and I am truly the sum of my parts.  I will never change to be anything other than who I am.

I-Am-Me.001

(image credit: sekutenetwork.com)

I have a great capacity to live my life the way I choose and no outside force will alter my path.  Some may not understand my journey but my path has been laid before me to follow and I do so willingly and without hesitation because this path is taken with the knowledge that I have carved it myself.  My road is created from a belief in who I am.  My road is paved with an understanding of my true identity and I am comfortable having my feet follow its winding path.

My road does not define me, I define it.  It is not sculpted from pettiness or jealousy, nor is it furrowed from frustration.  My road is simply an open path to my happiness and I follow it knowing that this is the journey I was meant to take.  It may not be the road chosen by many but this artery of life is meant for me.  It is unique and the fellow travelers I meet on this stretch of highway were meant to cross my path.

My journey to be me follows the beat of the incessant drumming only I can hear.  The mellifluous sounds keep my compass pointed in the right direction and I am happy to continue putting one foot in front of the other.  I will never again stray from my path because this passage allows me to be the truest version of myself.  It allows me to simply be me.

What I learned about giving thanks

9 Comments

This weekend is Thanksgiving for me and my fellow Canadians.  I have enjoyed many family celebrations and each year that we are able to get together for a family gathering, we are all thankful for those moments and for the people in our lives.  This year I was given a truly different perspective on what it means to be genuinely thankful.

Each October the family I work for invites their extended family to the lodge for Thanksgiving.  And each year, one of the older couples ventures North for the holiday with their foster children.  This year there are five of them.  Over the last fifteen years, a myriad of young faces have come and gone through the lodge but the expression on each of those faces, I’m sure, is the same.  It is the look of hope.  The joy and sense of togetherness they feel, on this weekend in particular, hopefully renews their faith in family.

There have been so many stories told of what these poor children have endured throughout their young lives.  These foster children are survivors of terrible atrocities that no human, much less a child, should ever have to experience.  With the love of their foster parents, these children are given a chance to, not only succeed but, be part of a family tradition that they may never have experienced in their troubled past.

Selfishly throughout my life I have silently thanked God for the bounty we are about to receive, having never given any thought to what I really should be thankful for but my perspective has been altered.  This Thanksgiving I am thankful for people like Marilyn and Fred – people who open their homes and their hearts to give a child a second chance for a life full of love and family.

This will be one of my most memorable Thanksgiving weekends and I look forward to seeing that same look of hope on some new faces next year.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Guess my name – Trifextra Challenge

16 Comments

His eyes had sinister charm and I was drawn to him.  He was precisely my type.  I was pleased to meet him but he would be like the others.  No names were exchanged.

***

Written for the Trifextra weekend challenge –

This week we’re asking for 33 of your own words inspired by this classic song by The Rolling Stones.  Good luck!

Add your link here!

– See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.9qsmxueq.dpuf

The opposite of hello

14 Comments

goodbye

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ A.A. Milne

~

I write this post through swollen eyes and saturated shirt sleeves.  Tonight while watching a scripted episode of a television show I witnessed a group of friends bid farewell to, not only a fellow cast member but, a confidant, a lover and a friend.  And although it was scripted, it was a heart-wrenching hour that brought any of the goodbyes I have ever experienced bubbling to the surface of my emotions because it was a genuine farewell to a person who will no longer be in their day-to-day realities.  The poignant words of the writing team were presented with a deep honesty because the melancholy was sincere and the pain was palpable.

Anyone who has lost someone can relate to the despair I am currently feeling.  Memories of the anguish I felt in the moments of my own losses came flooding back and I envisioned the struggle I endured to force myself to change the definition of those bonds.  I cried for their pain and I cried for my own pain.  The most difficult part of saying goodbye is knowing that you had something remarkable in your life and it was taken away before you were ready to part ways.

Living through a loss is inevitable.  We can never fully prepare ourselves for the roller coaster of emotion that follows that loss. Death is hardest on those left here to endure the sadness.  It is a closed door that can never be opened again but I hold strong to the faith that what lies beyond that closed door is filled with happy memories and moments that can be cherished by watching the movie of the life they lived.  

The bonds we have with those who have left us still remain.  The parameters of that relationship may have been vastly altered but the connections we have still exist.  We have memories to cherish and, in time, reminiscing will make that goodbye a little less painful and allow the happy memories to outweigh the grief.

All for one and one for all

3 Comments

Working in a team environment every day should make you realize that you are only as good as the team you have surrounding you.  Being in a leadership role, no matter how confident you are, will only take you so far without acknowledging the many people who follow your lead and give their all for that team.

I am fortunate to work with a great group of people.  Their true dedication to performing their jobs to the best of their ability makes my job that much easier.  Sure we all have days that we would prefer to be anywhere else but the struggles we face, we face together.  And that common bond makes us that much stronger of a team.

We face the hardships together, we jump in where we are needed and we all seem to strive for the same goal.  Those things alone would be enough of a recipe for success but we are fortunate to enjoy a sense of camaraderie along the way and infuses our day with laughter and a true sense of friendship.  Some days are more of a struggle than others to keep our heads above water and come out at the end of the day with a smile on our faces but somehow we bounce back.

I salute my team members – each and every one of them.   Your true dedication through a crazy hospitality season is something to be admired and you make it easy for me to come to work every day.

I hope that everyone reading this takes the time to thank the people who contribute to the success of their daily life, whether it be co-workers, friends or family.  A team is  team regardless of its inception.  Take the time to thank the people who live, support or work with you and make sure that their efforts do not go unrecognized.   It is the combination of the team effort that measures the height of the level of success.