“Each relationship nurtures a strength or a weakness within you.” ~ Michael Murdock
Have you ever had that moment? The moment when you hear a quote and it sums up an entire period of time in your life that you had yet to define? I just had a moment very reminiscent of that.
My marriage was a great learning tool in the school of my life. I do not hold any ill-will towards my ex-husband but there were moments early in the marriage that I knew our relationship could be the recipe for disaster. I allowed myself to ignore those blatant warning signs, took the wrong turn and careened along the highway of our marriage at full speed. The bumps in the road got worse as the journey continued. Soon, I couldn’t even navigate the straight stretches of the journey without getting dizzy. It was then I realized I was on the wrong road.
Everything about our time together nurtured my weaknesses. It became easier, as time went on, to not confront those weaknesses and keep some peace in the house. After several months of pulling in my head and playing “turtle” I began to realize some very important things, not only about him but, about myself.
After spending a lifetime trying to “fix” the broken people in my life, I succumbed to the fact that I couldn’t fix them. My ex-husband and the roller coaster of our marriage made me realize that. This relationship which flagrantly displayed my weakness in the past now nurtured my personal strength. When I finally awakened to that reality, once that awareness had seeped into my brain, my resolve was filled with a growing sense of power.
I took that power and changed my situation, and my life. That relationship which initially nurtured my weakness came full circle and devoted its influence to my strength. I would never have fully appreciated that strength had I not been weak at that fork in the road.
polysyllabic profundities 
Life is funny like that. Though sometimes I wish we could be on the correct road from the beginning, have all the wisdomm of important life lessons without having had to live through them.
Some of the best learned lessons are the ones that were learned the hard way!! I wish it were easier as well.
That’s one of the most useful things to know, I think.
And yet, every so often I forget I can’t fix someone.
Last great quote I heard that made me think “why, yes!” was
“If I had it all to do over again, I’d just get myself drunk and I’d jump right back in.”
Whee!!!
I’d plug my nose and jump in right beside you. It may have been a tough way to finally “get it”, but it’s a lesson I’ll never forget.
You can’t fix someone; true – but sometimes you can help them fix themselves. It takes a great deal of patience.
But hell, dealing with anyone takes a great deal of patience.
I’m glad you’re happy now!
I tried both ways….but at least I learned I can walk away after my best effort and still feel good about myself. And thank you. 🙂
You are a good and kind person
Thank you. I appreciate that.
It’s true
Been there…I’m glad we both came full circle, Susan. I do believe we learn something from every relationship and it prepares us for the next. Happy weekend!
Thanks Jill…same to you!!
At least you walked away from the struggle learning something about yourself… some people don’t seem to reach that point.
I feel very lucky.
Can relate to this one a lot….and that quote is fantastic! Glad you only spent a few months as a turtle….I’m clearly a slower learner than that 😉
That quote really grabbed me too. (and sometimes being a turtle isn’t so bad!!)
I’ve been thee, Susan and sometimes I think I’m still being that turtle. But we learn from the good and the bad…
Yes we do….and then we write about it. 😉
We certainly do – it keeps us sane 😉
We are who we are because of our experiences, both good and bad. I think, overall, that’s a good thing. If we removed the bad experiences we’ve had in our lives, we’d have to give up the lessons we learned and the strength we’ve gained from them. Just my thoughts, anyway. 🙂
Great thoughts! thanks.