Category Archives: be yourself

Don’t be afraid to speak up

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We all have opinions, beliefs and desires. Some are more apt to share these with others and some feel the need to stifle their thoughts and not share them with anyone. But what makes one desire more worthy than another? What makes one opinion more valid than another? The mere definition of opinion is meant to allow for a broad spectrum of beliefs to hold validity and not be based solely on fact.

Having the confidence to verbally express your ideas is a rare gift. So many of us second guess our thoughts but we need to find the freedom to speak up for something for which we hold true value. Our opinion is our own, it is that simple. No singular person has the right to tell us any differently. And if we are not prepared to speak our minds we lose a big piece of ourselves in that process. We lose our own permission to feel the way we feel and the comfort to portray thoughts and feelings in a way we deem appropriate.  I gave myself the permission to say what I feel through the words in my blog.  While I appreciate comments and criticism along the journey, I have enabled myself to share my voice on a page and speak my mind without worrying what outside influences may try to do to change my opinions.

We ultimately do ourselves a great disservice if we cannot find our voice.  Perhaps the words we utter could give someone else a perspective they would have never considered and, in turn, our reality could shift if we listen to others that have the boldness to speak up and share their thoughts.   We need to become comfortable with the power of words and how to use them to create positive change in our lives.   We should never live in fear of expressing ourselves.  Those words and ideas are what constitute the people we have become and an open dialogue is the best path to forging a truly honest relationship.

We need to stand behind the voice in our head and know that it is fuelled by our heart.  Speak up, speak honestly and speak your mind.  Having an opinion is important, being able to say it out loud is liberating!

Don’t be an echo

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Entering into the blogging community, I knew there would be a myriad of voices – voices that expounded opinions from many points of the spectrum of language, voices that wanted to speak and voices that yearned to be heard.

Each post that is put into the blogosphere has the ability to change the conversation and each writer’s voice is unique.  The joy of reading these blogs is that it opens the mind to different possibilities.  No one voice is the same, yet every string of words that is written has the ability to deeply influence its reader and affect their perception of those words.

Conformity in the writing world is blasphemy – challenging the parameters is a requirement.  If your writing sets you apart from others, whether it be your content or your writing style, your words are exclusive.  Many writers may tackle the same subject but each mind gives an unparalleled view and invites the reader into their perception of reality.

The writing Gods, or demons (depending on the hour of day that you are incessantly tapping at your keyboard), are relentless.  They wake you from unadulterated slumber, they seep into your dreams and they shadow you during your waking hours.  They infiltrate your thoughts and transport you into a world of possibility.  No two writers will ever have the same journey.

Telling a writer to change their style of writing is like telling a leopard to change its spots.  Those spots define that creature and the words on the page mark the individuality of the writer.  Speak up, writers.  Speak up and let your voice be heard.  Be your own voice and not an echo.   An echo is only an imitation and if you have things to say, say it your way.

(The Echo Amphitheatre in New Mexico- photo credit ~ vivanewmexico.com)

The countdown begins

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“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

~ H.H. The Dalai Lama

It never ceases to amaze me.  Human behavior, whether good or bad, has enough energy to directly affect our own sense of self.  I am a calm person.  I have always had a great sense of peace about me and am quick to find the good in situations and in people.  But my faith in human nature takes a strong nose-dive when tourist season begins.

When you grow up in a small town or a small community, there is a true sense of peace knowing your neighbors and being familiar with those around you.  You learn to expect a certain level of camaraderie and happiness.  The members of the community embrace you and are quick with a smile and a genuinely warm hello.

With the arrival of the Canada Day long weekend, that seems to have changed.  No longer will you find the locals out shopping at all hours of the day and carrying on conversations as if nothing were more important.  Now those locals are hidden behind the doors of their homes, emerging only in the early hours of the day to do their shopping to avoid the onslaught of tourists.  The freedom of being able to enjoy our tiny town has vanished.

crowd

(image credit: theinertia.com)

I ventured out too late this morning and became caught in the vortex of that familiar angst and cynicism that seems to travel North on Highway 400 and vacation here during the months of July and August.  Everyone is in a rush to get everywhere and tempers are short.  I arrived at my familiar grocery store, exited my vehicle and my eardrums were pierced with two unfamiliar voices arguing about the angled parking  job of one of the overwhelmingly expensive vehicles in the parking lot.  I guess the memo about relaxing while on vacation was never sent!

We, as a community, have 10 short weeks to ‘make hay while the sun shines’, as the old saying goes.  For as much as these tourists treat us as an inferior breed of humans, they are a grand part of our existence.  So we grin and bear it….and we begin the countdown to Labor Day Monday.

Like animals emerging from hibernation, we allow ourselves to come out of our homes and once again greet the land and our surroundings after that glorious September long weekend.  We take deep breaths of fresh air and greet our friends with a smile, having survived another two months of insanity.  The local pub patios are packed with locals happily waving at the cars as they make their way back to their concrete jungle.  On rare occasions, streakers have been known to hit the streets with signs, wishing the tourists a safe ride home.  (well, it may have been worded differently, but you get the idea).

Until that day comes, I will do my best not to let the stress of these visitors infect my happy disposition.  66 days to go….but who’s counting??

More than merely notes on a page

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“Without music, life would be a mistake.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I could live the rest of my life without television, but take music from me and you may as well send me into my next incarnation.  Music has a way of taking what was wrong and making it right.

After a long day the right song choice is the consummate escape to find my way back to myself.  Closing the car door in the office parking lot, starting the engine and letting that perfect song selection caress my mind is such a welcome close to any hectic day.

When you find inspiring music and let it seep into your soul, it’s much more than just listening to a song.  Those notes and harmonies can take you out of your current existence and transport you to a new state of being.  The songs become so much more than notes on a page, they become transcendent.

notes on a page

I have a very eclectic compilation of music that I enjoy and, each day that I want to peel back the layers of my hectic life and just relax, the song is never the same.  My diverse taste allows me a greater freedom in finding that right choice to help assuage the tension of every day life.  Those varying notes in that array of genres is the portfolio of my relaxation and escape.

I don’t ever defend my vast taste in music, I embrace it.  I am never at a loss for a tune that will suit the moment I am in, and that gives me a contented feeling.  My music can match any mood and any circumstance, and I will never be afraid to admit the extreme sides to my play list.

Recently that melodic portal of liberation has been opened by the beautiful tones of four soulful voices provided by The Tenors.  Music will always have a soothing quality but when you find the right blend of melody and harmony the result is an emotionally soothing journey.  My goal is to meet these four Canadian boys!

Music is much more than just notes on a page.  Music is a memory. Music is a feeling.  Music is the collection of notes at the heart of your soul.

Make your own rules – Trifecta Challenge

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The painted cedar shingle hung precariously above the door.  An old wooden ladder had been haphazardly tied at the top rung to the branch of the tree but the placement of its feet were firm enough in the ground to be safe for access to the tree house.  The boys had vacated its four walls a few hours earlier and the fortress that they called their club sat empty.

After nimbly climbing the rungs of the ladder she surveyed the forbidden clubhouse.  Comic books were stacked in the corners of the room, posters of super heroes adorned the walls and the wooden structure was permeated with the smell of dirt. Sun shone through the cracks in the one-by-six construction boards and reflected off the jar in the corner half-filled with coins.

Although it was only a quarter, she felt the weight of the coin in her pocket.  Too many times she had heard the laughter and camaraderie escaping from those walls and she longed to be part of it.  She slowly retraced her steps down the ladder and headed for the garage.

Bracing the air rifle and taking the proper stance, she aimed at the sign that hung over the entrance to the club.  Lining up target in her sight, she squeezed the trigger and the pellet tore through the shingle, splintering off the top piece of the wood.  The sign now read “Girls allowed”.

no girls allowed

(image credit: bestofcalvinadhobbes.com)

Waiting patiently for what seemed like hours, she finally heard the boys return.  She marched across the lawn and climbed the ladder, rung by rung, until she reached the threshold of the one place she truly wanted to be.  Knowing she would be met with the many arguments that no girls were allowed she entered clubhouse, the threw her quarter into the jar and defiantly sat cross-legged on the wooden floor.

With a slight smirk she remarked, “That’s not what the sign says.”

A wink and a smile

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I like the fact that simple things still make me smile.  There is something about a wink that lifts my spirits…..it makes me feel like that shared moment was just for me.  A wink can warm my soul and make me feel more connected to the person taking the time to make the gesture in the first place.

There is an inherent difference between the joking, fun wink with the silly face and the genuine ‘I feel a connection’ wink that is far more heart-felt. A wink can communicate an unspoken string of words that compels the person receiving it to smile in return.

A wink can have many underlying meanings.  A single wink can signify solidarity in a friendship, an implication of a closeness shared by two people.  It can represent a shared secret and that simple gesture can bond two people in a mischievous way by allowing them to communicate without words.

wink

Winking can also be used to convey approval, but the most widely sought after wink is the provocative wink that may affirm a more intimate connection.  The wink that makes you blush and feel giddy, makes your heart beat a little faster and catches your breath in your throat.  If the wink has the desired effect the somewhat shy, flirtatious smile from the person receiving the wink is the natural response.

Successful relationships of any nature are based on open dialogue, discussion and honesty.  But in today’s modern romance fewer words and a simple wink can go a long way.  😉

The Commish is back in the house

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I am a Canadian who admittedly can’t watch the CFL although I am a football fanatic.  The culmination of my love of football was derived from years of watching the NFL.  My parents were Hamilton Ti-Cat fans, but I was always drawn to American Football and my love of the rules of the National Football League.

Hail Mary has much meaning for me, although I am not a religious person.  The tension on the field, the true grit of play and the excitement of the game has a hold on me that I have not yet been able to explain.  And I will vehemently negate any arguments that I watch the game for the tight pants.  I know the rules.  I know the game.  And during the NFL season, I eat, sleep and breathe football.

football

Once the season begins I yearn for Sundays.  If I am not working, I am comfortably ensconced in my living room watching the pre-game shows until the 1:00 kick off.  I can spend 10 hours in my living room yelling obscenities at my 46″ monitor and loving every second of the game. (I’m sure there are meetings for this!)

My love of the sport may have morphed into a slight obsession.  I took over a football pool about 10 years ago that had 15 participants.  Last year we topped the participation with 65 people at $250.00 each for the entry fee.  It was a busy season but time that I truly enjoyed spending creating spreadsheets and announcing the winners of each week.  Having 65 people picking 13 to 16 games a week is like having a second job, but one I would not give up.  My nickname during the football season is “The Commish” and it is a moniker I hold onto with great pride.

I have just sent my first email of the year to round up people to participate in the 2013 / 2014 football pool and I feel like a kid waiting to go to Disneyland.  The spreadsheets are set for another year and pre-season is around the corner.  The Chargers roster is pumped and ready to do me proud this year.  My jerseys are hanging in my closet and I eagerly anticipate the kick-off to the Hall of Fame Game on August 4th.

I am about to put the laptop to bed and watch The Replacements.  Although Keanu Reeves is not the best actor in the world, it is one of my favorite football movies and I need to get back into “Commish-mode”.  It’s 4th and 1 on the 1 yard line and I’m about to take the snap.  Hut, hut.

Don’t hate the haters

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There will always be people out there with nothing but negative energy.  They hate their job, they hate where they live and they take that bitterness into every moment of their day.  They hate us for being positive.  So why should we reciprocate and send that hate back to them for being haters?

We can’t hate the haters.  Being around negative people makes me want to be even more positive than I already am.  It’s better to be hated for who you are instead of being loved for who you are not.  Nothing annoys a hater more than your forgiveness. They seek conflict and if they don’t get it, they will just hate you more.

hater

There is a fine balance in the world and we struggle to maintain that level with every ounce of positive energy we have.  Being around people who constantly have that dark cloud hovering over them motivates me to make a conscious effort to keep my mood light and happy.

I’m not going to lie and tell you I haven’t had moments of immense dislike within me, but I choose to rise above that venom that can penetrate the soul and find the lesson in the situation that caused that hatred in the first place.  My mother always said “it takes all kinds to make the world go round” and I now know what she meant.  If it weren’t for the haters, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate being the lovers.

We need to learn to rise above that feeling of hate and figure out what that anger is teaching us.  The haters will never have that perspective but we can motivate ourselves to see beyond the malevolence that bubbles within us and move beyond the hate.

Appreciate the haters for teaching us how much better it is to love and be happy.  Life is short – appreciate every second of it and don’t waste it being angry.  I don’t ever want to look back on my life and say I wasted a single moment dwelling on a feeling that didn’t make my life better.

Turn around

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We live in a fast paced world.  Everything is digital, messages are sent instantly and we are rushing to get to our next appointment, spin class, second job or meeting with friends because we pack so much activity into a short span of time.  Our ever turning world continues to spin and we respond by maintaining our pace of putting one foot in front of the other.

But in our rush to live our lives, we may have overlooked a few important moments that deserve a second glance.  We need to take the time to turn around every now and then and make sure we absorb the things that are pushing us in the direction we are going.  Sometimes the moments we never give a second thought require a few more minutes of pensive consideration to see the value in that frame of time.

owl

(image credit: Dan Kaiser)

Stop and turn around.  The view behind you may be worth that pause for reflection.

My monochromatic life – Trifecta challenge

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Their words used to burn my ears.  Their taunts were like barbed wired that punctured my skin.  I was called ridiculous, a loser, a freak.  But not one of those people took the time to think about how my looks on the outside reflected the pain and suffering I felt on the inside.  Not a single one of them took the time to get to know me as a person – they only chose to judge me.  My teenage angst was buried under layers of black make-up and dark clothing.  My rebellion against my parents and my hatred for the abuse was punctuated with silver jewelry piercing much of my skin.  Perhaps I thought my demons would escape through the holes in my skin.  Perhaps I wanted any attention I could get or perhaps I never truly cared about their opinions in the first place.  After 1499 piercings the demons still lurk in the shadows and the memories still remain.  Maybe the next one will be the magic one.

~

A piece of fiction written for the Trifecta Challenge:

On to the weekly prompt.  This week’s word was suggested by Marie Nicole.  Have fun with it and we’ll see you on Friday.