I wished for a eudaemonic Christmas, where spirits were light and smiles abundant.
Category Archives: emotion
When I saw the tree
22 CommentsShe left before I was ready.
Perhaps her smile veiled her true emotion,
shrouding me from the reality
that she had been ready for a while.
Maybe she heard him calling to her,
soft whispers as she slept,
telling her it was okay to let go.
Conspicuous reminders of her appear,
like songs long forgotten
playing on a broken radio.
Repressed smells tickle my senses,
transporting me to another time,
and they render me paralyzed.
She came to me in a dream.
She embraced me as I slept
and whispered words she knew I needed to hear.
When I saw the tree, I knew.
She was here,
in this place,
in the way she would have wanted to be,
in the form she loved so much.
Her sentinels lay in wait,
their wings ready at a moment’s notice,
to be at my side if I needed them.
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It’s not just about the big picture
10 CommentsAs I am uncharacteristically sitting in my office on a Sunday morning, dog asleep at my feet, it occurred to me that I don’t have very much to say today. I am enjoying the quiet moments of looking after the lodge while the owners enjoy some much-needed down time after a busy season and the other employees are busy shopping for the holidays and on their way to spend time with loved ones.
I saw this quote and it seemed to sum up what I was trying to say. Enjoy your Sunday and make sure to enjoy all the little things.
It doesn’t really get easier with time
25 CommentsI read a post on Facebook today from a friend of mine who is at the one year anniversary of his father’s passing. I would like to tell him that it gets easier with time, but I can’t. So many people offer those words as an attempt to comfort those who have lost a loved one. Since I have lost both of my parents, and many other loved ones for that matter, I am well versed at saying ‘thank you, I hope so’ when those words were spoken to me.
But I have learned a great truth about loss. It doesn’t get easier. The pain of loss is never really assuaged by time. The polite phrase spoken by so many holds a great sentiment but very little truth.
What I have learned, however, is that the pain is slowly muted by the memories. That pain still burns like a lingering flame, concealed far below the surface, and it can be turned into a raging inferno with a single spark. But that pain is much less visceral than it once was and shouldering their absence seems much more bearable.
With each passing year I recognize a growing trend in my patterns. Habits that I picked up subconsciously from those loved ones who are gone seem to emerge inexplicably but they are familiar and comforting traits. Idioms used by my dad tumble out of my mouth before I even have a chance to realize what I am saying. My arm in the window of my car as I drive, elbow on the bottom and only two fingers hooked in the top, is exactly how my mother used to position herself driving up to the cottage when we were young.
It doesn’t make the loss any easier but it is those little things that make us know that their life lives on through our lives. We get to keep some of the best parts of them alive because mimicking their characteristics keeps their spirit close. The pain will always reside in us as proof that the love we had for them was fierce. It doesn’t get easier, it just gets manageable.
The sense of sensibility
11 CommentsThe Reverie posted an interesting challenge in honor of Jane Austen. We are given 11 words (in true Austen style) and asked to write a poem with at least 7 of them. It got in 10. Check out the challenge and give it a try.
To acknowledge a want,
to trust in a wish,
evokes a certain wonder.
What good fortune it would be,
to wear our pride without prejudice,
to yearn, not for possessions
but for the good in man.
A single hope,
a solemn wish
to bring peace
to the world.
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Comes a time
11 CommentsEverything in our lives has a time and a place. Whether we understand the correlation or not, the introduction of certain things into our realities is done with a purpose. The novel ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ is one of those things that had a time and place in my life – and that time and place was now.
Had I read this book when it was first published, the messages would have never hit their target. But now, almost twenty years after its publication date, this book has burrowed its way under my skin and caused numerous moments of reflection and awareness.
I began reading this book late on a Saturday night, although I wish I could say I dove into it on a Tuesday. My appetite for the story made me pick it up again on Sunday afternoon and finish it early Sunday night. I recognized many moments of my life through the book and I paused many times to wipe tears from my eyes so I could continue reading.
(Mitch Albom and Morrie Schwartz)
I watched both of my parents wither from a disease, although not ALS, that stole their ability to function as healthy adults. I felt a strong connection to Mitch as he tried to make life as normal for Morrie as he could. But what I was most affected by from this novel is Morrie teaching Mitch how to live while he, in turn, was dying.
Life is not about our limitations, it is about our strengths. Life is not about our possessions but about our character. It is about being a part of a community and giving to those who are less fortunate. Life is about having no regrets when we pass because the energy that we shared with others lives on through them.
Mitch and Morrie reiterated the philosophy behind a mantra I have, for many years, uttered under my breath. “Life is not about what you have. Life is about what you give.” And since this novel has securely fastened itself into my memory, I will strive to give more so I can live far beyond this lifetime.











