Category Archives: honesty

A much needed change of pace

6 Comments

Tonight was brilliant.  Tonight I came home from work, tuned out all of the outer distractions and got caught up on reading the many blogs I follow and have been missing recently.

Starting a new job always means putting in a few extra hours to learn the ropes – a  few extraneous minutes of time to make the new bosses happy that they made the decision to bring you into the fold of their team.  But with that additional effort comes the realization that other parts of your life suffer in the wake of your desire to be appreciated and recognized.

Lately, my writing has been staggered, at best, and my reading has resembled something close to non-existent.  Life will return to normal when the summer staff come to ease to burden of my multi-tasking, but until then I will steal any moment I can to form thoughts into words and to catch up with others afflicted by the same writing bug that infects my mind.

I appreciate their sentiments, I get lost in their prose and I long for the precious minutes that thoughts form sentences that have meaning.  I yearn for those cherished seconds that words escape from my mind without giving the ideas a second thought.  Contemplation percolates, idioms spill and paragraphs are created.

bloggin

(image credit: imedia.brooks.ac.uk)

To blog or not to blog is not the question.  The only query that remains is how to create more hours in the day to do all of the things I need to do and save times for the things I truly love to do.

True friendship – Trifextra Challenge

25 Comments

Her birth was nothing short of miraculous and she survived her first eight weeks in a landfill, left for dead.  The rescue team that found her nourished her back to health and placed her in the system for adoption.  Once I saw those big brown eyes I knew she would be, not only my dog but, my four-legged child and my best friend.

Callaway - 1st day

Written for the weekend Trifextra Challenge: On to the prompt.  This weekend we’re revisiting an early Trifextra, our second ever.  The challenge is to write a complete story in only three sentences.  Good luck!

The Intervention

4 Comments

Dear Mother Nature,

We have all been asked to write a letter to you so we can tell you how your illness is affecting us individually.  Starting off with “this is the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write” would be horrifically untrue.  This is one of the simplest tasks I have been faced with throughout my 44 years on this planet.

I’m going to be blunt in this letter and not mince words. This is an intervention.  From those of us who generally feel at peace with you, we have come to you with these words of utter disgust and contempt.  The state of your mental capacity is worrisome and borderline reckless.  For the past few days, we have endured the wrath of your mood swings and succumbed to your whimsical attitude in regards to everyone around you.  This is not the being we have known you to be and the change in your behavior is more than mildly disconcerting.

Too many times over the past two months we have shamelessly ignored the warning signs, hoping that the initial symptoms would not manifest themselves into a textbook case of narcissism.  But our hopes have been crushed in the face of the evolving disease and you no longer seem to have any concern for those in the eye of your storms.

We are pleading with you to get well.  We face each day with uncertainty and would like to see you return to your balanced and seasonally charming self.  Although the outcome of an intervention is meant to severe ties if an agreement to treatment is not reached, we are not as fortunate to have that ball in our court.  We would hope that you hear our pleas and end the 24 degree swings in temperatures during a 24-hour period.

The prescription awaits and only you have the power to take those happy pills and feel well again.

With very kind regards,

Muskoka, Ontario

In the still of the night

7 Comments

Tonight, in Mother Nature’s fury,  we were graced by another storm exemplified by strong winds, rain, thunder and lightning.  Living in a rural area means we are well accustomed to living without power during these tumultuous acts of divine intervention.  The plethora of trees bend to the power that nature possesses and ultimately the lines of power created by man are no match for the Goddess of weather.  We have been plunged into darkness and are submerged in the sounds of silence.

The world, as we know it, has come to a grinding halt and we are left bathed in the ethereal glow of candlelight.  The earth has been baptised by the rain and the creatures of the night have true reign over their territory.  Man cannot disturb what it cannot see.

I enjoy these moments.  These nights that I am cloaked in darkness allow me the time to truly shut out the world.  I have no cause to watch mindless television or surf the web in search of something to idly entertain my brain.  I am left with my thoughts, transcribed in dim light by pen to paper, and a sense of relaxation that can only come from having no outward distractions to blame for my laziness.  This is true escape.

My world, apart from two small candles, is black.  The stillness of the night soothes my soul and the quiet envelops me like a blanket.  I pull myself into it, feel the comfort of its solitude and soak in the warmth of its bliss.  The creatures that sing their haunting refrains lull me into a trance.  Pin-pricks of light dappled the sky as Fire Flies dance on the velvet backdrop of their own Black Light Theatre.  The night is beautiful.

fireflies

(image credit: globeattractions.com)

Sitting in my darkened tomb I know, as all good things do, this moment of bliss will come to an end.  Power will be restored and the world will be bathed in harsh light and modern reality.  Thankfully the world I live in, so far removed from city life, can remain this dark if I wish to keep the outside world extinguished.  Even when the power is restored I can live in my alternate reality by leaving the lights off, enjoying the speckled light show outside my window and embracing the still of the night.

Burning the candle at both ends

12 Comments

It begins innocently. We take on more and more with each passing day and begin burning that candle at both ends, always with the thought in mind that never the twain shall meet. But they do meet, and someone always gets burned.

burn the candle

In today’s economy and struggling markets people take on more burdens to cement themselves to their jobs. Fiscal responsibility tends to equate to physical and emotional exhaustion but we do what we have to do to secure our stability. It has become a dog-eat-dog existence.

Although we may see that candle as everlasting and continuous, we lose a little piece of our sanity with each drip of wax that is dispelled. A layer of our resolve, like the dripping wax, is melted away from us and collectively pooled into a well of fatigue. The moments of freedom we so carelessly took for granted are a thing of the past and the work day increases in its longevity.  As the winds of our reality fan the flames, the candle burns faster at both ends leaving us with more of a sense of panic and less candle to burn. The days seem longer, the nights seem shorter and we strive to hold fastidiously to our workaday reality.

It is our individual responsibility to snuff that secondary flame – to only allow ourselves one wick with which to burn our energy. If we allow others to dictate how much of the candle we burn at one time we may as well cast ourselves into the inferno and spontaneously combust.

The purpose of a candle is to burn for long periods of time, from one end only, and cast a glow of light that is warm and comforting. Burning that candle from both ends decreases the amount of enjoyment that candle is meant to purvey and exponentially diminishes the enjoyment that is elicited from that one single flame.

Strike your match carefully.  Predestine how much of that candle you are willing to ignite and at which pace you choose it to soften and dissipate.  If you light it sparingly, it will last much longer and the enjoyment of that flame will last that much longer.

Gone but not forgotten – Trifextra post

12 Comments

Confessions are never easy.  There were moments that I was happy you crossed over.  But then I remembered all of the good things about you and I cried because you passed too soon.

~

Written for the Trifextra Challenge :

On now to our weekend challenge.  This weekend we are asking for a thirty-three word confession.  You’re free to write non-fiction or fiction or to blur the lines in between.  We just encourage you to get creative and give us your best.

This weekend’s challenge is community judged.

  • For the 14 hours following the close of the challenge, voting will be enabled on links.
  • In order to vote, return to this post where stars will appear next to each link.  To vote, simply click the star that corresponds with your favorite post.
  • You can vote for your top three favorite posts.
  • Voting is open to everyone. Encourage your friends to vote for you, if you wish.

I’m not here to impress you

14 Comments

I am me.  I have simple likes and dislikes (except for the occasional expensive bottle of wine). I live an honest life and I embrace the sense of humor, common sense, moderate intelligence and gift for the vernacular that was bestowed upon me.  I do not, nor will I ever use any of my personality traits to impress you.  But at the end of my journey through this life I hope that, with those traits, I will leave an impression upon you.

So often people spend so much of their time trying to impress the multitudes by being something they are not, nor will they ever be.  The downside to pretending that you are something so far removed from your reality is that eventually people see through the facade and directly into the real you.  Having the self-confidence to believe that you are truly unique is half the battle.  Having the fortitude to stand behind what you represent is the remaining half.

It takes little to no effort to be the person that you truly are and it takes a moderate resolution to negate any ill will towards people who do not embrace the qualities you possess. It takes even broader shoulders to not care.  If you have ever been told that you are one in a million, that is a gross understatement. There is no singular being on this grand planet that can ever take your place.

By living to impress others you do yourself an egregious injustice.  Trying to live up to the standards of others simply means you are ignoring your standards and your life is no longer about you.

Leave the impression on this world that you want to leave – not the impression you think others want you to leave.  Don’t lose yourself striving for their definition of perfection.  As you continue to embark on your personal journey you may find that your idea of perfection is much better.  The sense of accomplishment you achieve doing it your way will be that much more rewarding.

It’s not about how you see yourself dying, it’s about how you see yourself living

5 Comments

Most days I find Facebook too full of judgement, too saturated with over-sharing and too congested with an exaggerated amount of requests to play something called Farmville.   But on rare occasions, things are shared that make me glad I have not deleted my account.  The video below made me think a lot about how I am living my life and it made me cry.  The tears that stained my cheeks were a mixture of sadness for the loss of such a beautiful life and tears of joy for being able to have a brief glimpse into the soul of such a beautiful child.

Please take the 20 minutes to watch the story of Zach Sobiech.  It will make the subject line of this post stand out in the forefront of your mind and make me you rethink how you live your life each day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjKgV65fpo

Getting back my sense of self

8 Comments

For the first time in a long time I walked through my house tonight and found I was smiling.  I wasn’t reliving a memory or anticipating an upcoming event, I was just….happy.

I hadn’t realized how much of my happiness had been consumed by reality until the corners of my lips were turned upright for no particular reason.  After all the tension I have experienced over the last couple of months, I was sure those muscles had atrophied and would require intense physiotherapy to get the full range of motion to return.  The degeneration of joy was paralyzing.

But I am once again finding beauty in my surroundings because stress no longer abrades my senses.  The scent of lilacs permeates my nose as soon as I step outside and the sounds of the creatures of the night soothe me with their harmonic tones.  And after many nights of being unaware of the true depth of my melancholy, I am now able to appreciate their symphony and realize that my true bliss has returned.

My words flow more freely now because they are no longer trapped in a smoldering vat of fermenting unrest.  My brain is at ease and my creativity flows in small streams until it culminates at the mouth of the river.  Those ideas trickle along the banks of my mind.  Each drop of inspiration is collected, it pools and eddies at the precipice until the words spill uncontrollably over the crest of rock and create a waterfall of language and expression.  That waterfall is my release.  That rapid flow of ideas is my heaven.

??????????????

(image credit: commons.wikimedia.org)

I have slowly re-acquainted myself with the things that I hold dear.  I have learned to let go of the stress and spend time each day making new memories and not just relying on recollections of my past to satiate my need for happy thoughts.  I have regained my inner compass.  I have reclaimed my sense of self.

Doing the right thing doesn’t always feel right

24 Comments

The hardest part of playing the role of both child and advocate is making the decisions that you know are the right thing to do, but they are the most difficult decisions to follow through.

I have written recently about my mom’s health issues and having to move her out of her home into a Retirement / Assisted Living Facility and clean the house of her belongings.  She seems to be content where she is, but she misses her pets immensely.  The decision to surrender her cats had to be done, but not without some hardship and second guessing along the way.   The place my mom is living now does allow pets, but we are not sure if this is going to be the place my mom is able to stay.

Trying to explain to my mother why she cannot get another cat at the moment is heart-breaking.  She would love to have a companion, but I would hate to see her go through the process of having to give up another pet if she has to move.  Sure, we are absolutely doing the right thing but it feels awful.

no_cats_allowed_sign

(image credit: factorydirectcraft.com)

I don’t have children of my own so I can only imagine the struggles parents go through having to do what’s best for their children and only hoping that someday those children will understand.  I’m not sure if my mom will ever agree with some of the decisions we have recently made on her behalf.  I can only hope she remains as happy as she can and some day, years from now, when she joins my father in Heaven she will look back on her life and know we are only doing what’s right for her.  I just wish it felt better doing it.