Cell phone etiquette

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The world of technology has taken over our lives.  We rely so much on computers and cell phones to communicate that it is affecting the way we relate to others.  And although our reliance on social media can do a lot to boost our self-esteem, it does affect the way we interact with each other on a more personal level.

Everywhere you turn now people are visibly attached to their cell phones and their tablets.  Although they allow us to maintain better contact with our families and help us find long-lost friends and acquaintances they seem to be setting us back in terms of our social skills.  Many times during conversations people will hear the magical sound of their cell phone alerting them to a call or text and, without thinking, reach for that phone and forget that they are physically interfacing with another human being.  With the touch of a button we make contact with others distant from us and forget the art of conversation that can be utilized with the people right in front of us.

cell phone

I was recently made aware of a new fad – groups of people who are going out for dinner agree to put their cell phones in the middle of the table.  (the smart ones turn them off)  The first person to reach for the phone during the meal has to pick up the tab.  What a great trend to follow or to start in your own community of friends.

Imagine the amount of time you could actually spend with your friends and loved ones being engaged and truly invested in that relationship instead of worrying about the text messages you may be missing.  The text messages will always be there for you to read but your friends may not wait around for you to give them the attention they deserve face to face.

Getting back my sense of self

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For the first time in a long time I walked through my house tonight and found I was smiling.  I wasn’t reliving a memory or anticipating an upcoming event, I was just….happy.

I hadn’t realized how much of my happiness had been consumed by reality until the corners of my lips were turned upright for no particular reason.  After all the tension I have experienced over the last couple of months, I was sure those muscles had atrophied and would require intense physiotherapy to get the full range of motion to return.  The degeneration of joy was paralyzing.

But I am once again finding beauty in my surroundings because stress no longer abrades my senses.  The scent of lilacs permeates my nose as soon as I step outside and the sounds of the creatures of the night soothe me with their harmonic tones.  And after many nights of being unaware of the true depth of my melancholy, I am now able to appreciate their symphony and realize that my true bliss has returned.

My words flow more freely now because they are no longer trapped in a smoldering vat of fermenting unrest.  My brain is at ease and my creativity flows in small streams until it culminates at the mouth of the river.  Those ideas trickle along the banks of my mind.  Each drop of inspiration is collected, it pools and eddies at the precipice until the words spill uncontrollably over the crest of rock and create a waterfall of language and expression.  That waterfall is my release.  That rapid flow of ideas is my heaven.

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(image credit: commons.wikimedia.org)

I have slowly re-acquainted myself with the things that I hold dear.  I have learned to let go of the stress and spend time each day making new memories and not just relying on recollections of my past to satiate my need for happy thoughts.  I have regained my inner compass.  I have reclaimed my sense of self.

Feeling up with some down time

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Yesterday I was able to leave work early and spend some much-needed time to myself.  While preparing to leave my old job and begin the journey of starting a new job, I worked 18 days straight and had little time to just relax and breath.

I performed the perfunctory task of cleaning my house, I visited my mom and I went out for dinner with a friend.  It was a great afternoon and once I was ensconced in the comfort of my living room, Mother Nature provided a great show of pyrotechnics last night for my amusement.  I lit the candles, extinguished the lights and let the smooth harmonic blend of The Tenors wash over me as I watched the lightning dance outside my window.

lightning_strike

(image credit: dottech.org)

I had a nice leisurely morning pulling myself from under the covers much later than usual and enjoyed a few cups of the “liquid of the Gods” known as coffee.  My laptop welcomed me with open arms and we spent a few hours writing together.

It amazes me that a few simple hours spent away from the constraints of reality can make such a difference.  Although I am truly a ‘people person’, I enjoy my solitude immensely.  I am ready to tackle the next few days remembering the cherished moments I just spent with my puppy dog with no outside distractions until we can close the door on the world once more and take those fleeting minutes to just breathe.

Doing the right thing doesn’t always feel right

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The hardest part of playing the role of both child and advocate is making the decisions that you know are the right thing to do, but they are the most difficult decisions to follow through.

I have written recently about my mom’s health issues and having to move her out of her home into a Retirement / Assisted Living Facility and clean the house of her belongings.  She seems to be content where she is, but she misses her pets immensely.  The decision to surrender her cats had to be done, but not without some hardship and second guessing along the way.   The place my mom is living now does allow pets, but we are not sure if this is going to be the place my mom is able to stay.

Trying to explain to my mother why she cannot get another cat at the moment is heart-breaking.  She would love to have a companion, but I would hate to see her go through the process of having to give up another pet if she has to move.  Sure, we are absolutely doing the right thing but it feels awful.

no_cats_allowed_sign

(image credit: factorydirectcraft.com)

I don’t have children of my own so I can only imagine the struggles parents go through having to do what’s best for their children and only hoping that someday those children will understand.  I’m not sure if my mom will ever agree with some of the decisions we have recently made on her behalf.  I can only hope she remains as happy as she can and some day, years from now, when she joins my father in Heaven she will look back on her life and know we are only doing what’s right for her.  I just wish it felt better doing it.

Stick a fork in me Jerry, I’m done!

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For any of you that watched Seinfeld in the good old days, the subject line of this post refers to the day Kramer lathered himself in butter to tan on the roof and fell asleep.  Many references were made to the smell of roasted turkey coming from the roof and Newman spent most of the day chasing Kramer through the hallways of their apartment building armed with a knife and fork.

I now have some frame of reference to what a turkey feels like when it is pulled from the oven.  Today, I had my first ever M.R.I. to determine what I have done to my knee.  For those unaware of Magnetic Resonance Imaging, the process is similar to taking a meat product and shoving into a casing to create a sausage.  A human body is robed in the flattering hospital gown and pants and thrust into an opening barely large enough to contain said body.  For twenty to thirty minutes, the owner of the body must remain perfectly motionless for the imaging to be successful.

mri-10

(image credit:  howstuffworks.com)

Precautions are taken to restrict any movement of the part being scanned and a call button is placed in the hand of the subject waiting to enter the tunnel in case of any discomfort or panic.  Thankfully I did not experience either of those.  With a knee scan, the head remains outside of the enclosure and the orb surrounds only the parts deemed necessary for imaging.

Ear plugs are inserted to mute the throbbing noise created by the imaging machine and dulcet tones are played to mask the sound of technology.  The soothing sounds of The Eagles helped to transport me to that hotel in California where you can check out any time you want but you can never leave, but the DJ followed up with James Brown’s “I Feel Good” and it was painful to remain still.  Who doesn’t want to move when you hear that song?

The machine hummed and pulsated.  The tube resonated with the sounds of helium-suspended-magnets as bursts of radio frequencies were bounced from my flesh back to a computer where the images would be recorded for posterity and diagnosis.  The heat in the tube increased and my body temperature spiked.  Beads of sweat trickled from my brow and finally the timer sounded.  My M.R.I. was over and dinner was served.   If only I’d thought to prepare myself with some butter, salt and pepper.  Thankfully nobody chased me down the corridors of the hospital with a knife and fork!

A brave new world

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Today I began a new journey.   Today was my first day at a new job…..one that I ventured into after spending the better part of two decades at a place that was overwhelmingly familiar.  The best part of today was walking into a place that, although not as familiar, I felt like I belonged.  The buildings, the walls, the faces and the surroundings are new but still give me a sense of  home.

The joy of working in hospitality is knowing that a strong personality and having the ability to fly by the seat of your pants are not only requirements, but assets that can assuage any sense of discomfort that may arise from being in a foreign place.  And today, I flew.   I jumped in with both feet and hit the ground running.

Perhaps the comfort level comes from being in a situation that is remarkably similar to my comfort zone, but on a much smaller scale.  Or perhaps that peacefulness comes from being able to be myself and not sweat the small stuff.  I adapt.  It’s what I’m good at and a skill that allows me to blend in without seeming like I have no knowledge of my surroundings.

shammy

(image credit: http://www.shamrocklodge.com)

Tomorrow I can go back knowing a little more than I knew today – and knowledge is power.  Tomorrow I take what I learned today and parlay it into a greater feeling of awareness and comprehension.  Tomorrow the rest of me flies with the seat of my pants, and not just by the seat of my pants.  Tomorrow I look back at yesterday and realize its success.  Tomorrow, I look forward to many more tomorrows.

The fading image in my rear-view mirror

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Like the perfect piece of baker’s chocolate, today will be bittersweet.  I am comfortably ensconced in a chair in my office, shrouded by four very familiar walls that are situated on a property that I could maneuver my way around with my eyes closed.  But today is my last day in this place.

A big part of my life has been spent exploring every facet of the 408 acres that make up this resort property.  From my humble beginnings in 1986 I have cleaned every single one of the 158 rooms on numerous occasions, I have served hundreds of people in its dining room, I have greeted hundreds more at the front desk and I have encouraged thousands to vacation here.  My car could drive itself from home to office after the numerous trips we have made together down this winding Muskoka road.

This home away from home has been the site of many experiences for me, some fantastic and some tragic.  This job was not just a job.  This place gave me the tools to grow, not only as an employee and a boss, but as a person.  This place introduced me to many people I consider an extended part of my family.  From staff to hotel guests, the connections I have made here will last a lifetime.

cleves water front

(image credit: http://www.clevelandshouse.com)

But the time has come to change the landscape I see on my drive to work.  Although the splendor of the Muskoka beauty will still be seen through each of my car windows, the shadows that dance on the road before me will be different.  The path that my tires follow will be not be naturally carved in the pavement leading me to the walls that contain so many memories.   This new path will take time to feel as comfortable but I’m sure it will lead me to just as much happiness.

As the image of a lifetime fades in my rear-view mirror, the path ahead is waiting to welcome me with open arms and begin the journey of making new memories.

The Call of Nature

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I’ve had these pictures on my phone for a while and wanted to share them.

a crack in the armor

A crack in the armor of ice.

ice

Intricate patterns in the early morning freeze on my patio table.

ring around the sun

Ring around the sun.

patterns

Hashtag in the sky.

ominous whisps

The atmosphere air-brushed the sky.

criss cross

Same effect in lighter shades.

morning glory

A stunning sky to ease me into the morning.

Decease and desist – Trifecta Post

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His halted steps were deliberate.   He had no physical ailment restraining him but the heaviness in his heart seemed to impede his movement.  The church steps spanned his peripheral vision and the large wooden doors loomed ahead making him feel small, almost minuscule.   He had to cross the threshold.  He knew that as sure as he knew he needed to breathe the air that now seemed viscous and ready to choke him with his next inhalation.

One foot found its place in front of the other and his hand reached for the over-sized handle.  The door groaned its argument about being forced open but he moved forward, knowing what waited for him on the other side.  He knew the faces he would see would seem vaguely familiar but he could not focus on them.  Today was about something much deeper.  Today was about death.

He had recited the eulogy aloud over and over until the words had etched themselves into his brain.  The crowd fell silent as he made his way to the front of the room.  He furtively glanced at the collection of people gathered within the confines of the church walls and collected every ounce of strength that remained in his sorrow-filled body.

The many trial runs in the mirror made it easier and the words seem to spill from his lips.  “My name is Ray, and I am an alcoholic.  Somewhere along the way, the person I was died and this is his funeral.”

“Hi, Ray.”

~

This post was written for the Trifecta Post:
DELIBERATE
1: characterized by or resulting from careful and thorough consideration <a deliberate decision>
2: characterized by awareness of the consequences<deliberate falsehood>
3: slow, unhurried, and steady as though allowing time for decision on each individual action involved

Remember:
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  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
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Words for the wordies

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I have been working on a novel for a few years. Time that should have been spent writing to get it finished during those years seems to have been interrupted by reality, but I will never give up the dream of seeing it through to its completion, hopefully by the end of this year.

As writers tend to do, I always second guess the salability of the story…..and this, dear friends and readers, is where you come in. The following is the beginning of the book and I would love to get some feedback….positive and negative. From perspective comes growth.

The Waking Hours

Jack Brandon looked at himself in the mirror for the third time. The deep circles under his eyes and the numerous laugh lines did much to convince him that he had earned each of his 38 years. Laugh lines he thought, was the definition of irony. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed. Hell, he couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled. Pulling his gaze from the mirror, Jack glanced around his modest condominium. The collection of antique and clay figurines certainly looked familiar, but somehow seemed vaguely out-of-place. He could not put a finger on it but his trepidation increased.

Shaking off his uneasiness and the frustration of the day, he moved over to the dry sink and poured himself an aromatic glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. He padded barefoot through the plush carpet and sank into his favorite recliner. Although the condo was tastefully decorated, the recliner stuck out like a sore thumb. The remainder of the chocolate-brown corduroy on the arms hung in tatters and foam spouted from the gaping holes, but Jack refused to part with it. The chair had become as comforting as a warm handshake from an old friend – unfortunately, a subject he could not relate to with great authority. Jack had always been a loner. His parents had been extreme over achievers but had never pushed Jack to open up. Before he could rub any more salt in that open wound, he changed his thought pattern to complete nothingness.

The sun gradually lowered itself and began pulling up the blanket of the horizon. As dusk inched its way to darkness, Jack remained listless in his chair. Blackness swept through the apartment and he found himself awash in a cascade of shadows and jagged streaks of moonlight. Although the solitude did have a serene quality, he could not shake the sense that the darkness held some sort of malice for him. After a few more glasses of wine, Jack was feeling the effects and sleep crept methodically into the corners of his eyes and gently pulled down his eyelids. As his breathing became heavy and rhythmic, the black canvas of his dreamscape was brushed clean and anxiously awaited a new splash of color.

~

He emerged from his sleep to a tirade of rasping coughs and shallow breaths. In the seconds it took for him to discern the sounds, he realized they were coming from him and he felt beads of sweat rolling from his brow. His large hands were flailing through the air, reaching out for an invisible assailant. Immediately he tried to relax and gulped large quantities of air. Jack’s dreams had become far more vivid recently and mornings were a constant source of recollection, collaboration and interpretation. The lingering image of a woman was in his mind but he could not keep hold of the dream and she vanished. Pausing only for a moment, he rose unsteadily from the chair and tried to shake the fragments of sleep from his head. Shadows danced in the corners of the apartment and teased his eyes. Still dusting the cobwebs from his mind, he stumbled to the bathroom and seemed to have lost his inner compass. He tripped over furniture and momentarily lost his equilibrium. He cranked on the hot water, stripped out of his clothes and tried to rid himself of his feeling of wariness as he stepped into the shower.

The heated beads of water stung his skin but he welcomed the pressure of the jet streams. Perhaps the pounding shower could help cleanse his sense of growing failure. Real estate sales were down and reflectively brought Jack’s mood down with them. For every day that passed with no prospects, his depression and loss of enthusiasm increased. Something had to change, and it had to change soon.

Feeling somewhat more awake and refreshed, Jack reached down to shut off the flow of water. He halted briefly and stared, completely puzzled. The shower head and faucet were different from what he remembered. He tried to recall if the landlord had mentioned any changes but he had no memory of that conversation. He turned off the new faucets and threw open the shower curtain. The steam from the shower shrouded his vision as he toweled himself dry. As the mist began to clear Jack stepped from the shower and felt a plush bathmat under his feet. He didn’t own a bathmat. He reached to his left to wipe the mirror and his hand rubbed against nothing but tile and wallpaper. As the last of the shower steam finally dissipated Jack’s mouth fell open. He gaped in horror at the bathroom. It wasn’t his bathroom at all.