Hoo’s there?

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I feel his stare before I am aware of  his presence.

If I had to, I could answer my own question.

I know why he suddenly appears.

My dad said he would always be with me.

The owl only proves his promise.

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~~

Written for the Gargleblaster #160.

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We’re turning to The Carpenters for this week’s ultimate question. This song has been stuck in my head since the gargleblaster started.

Why do birds suddenly appear?

Give us your answer in 42 words. We know you all know the next line in the song. Let’s see if you can make us think of something different. Take it out of context of the original song and help me clear my head!

The colors of life

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I grew up in the 70’s.   And in that decade color was so prevalent you could almost taste it.  From the psychedelic album covers (for those of that actually know what albums are) to the drastic disco outfits and lava lamps – color was everywhere.  Wall posters of our favourite bands awash in reds, oranges and purples were plastered on the walls in our teenage bedrooms and things as ordinary as kitchen appliances were bathed in a spectral representation of the full color wheel.

Mood rings were all the rage and my mother’s affliction for that particular piece of  jewellery was my first foray into the correlation of color and feeling.  Colors are tied to our emotions and even used to describe feelings.  People will tell you that they are feeling blue when they are depressed or green with envy and when angered, they see red.

Contrary to some opinions we dream in color.  The intensity of the hues in the hours of our sleep are described as representing the emotions we are experiencing in our conscious hours.  Dreams of black often epitomize stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed and the presence of color can be translated into the myriad of emotions we face each day.

We all appreciate color in our own unique way – from the clothes we wear to the decoration and palettes we choose in our home.  Color can be used to represent who we truly are and the state of mind in which we find ourselves.   I love the outdoors so when it came time to choose the items in my home I brought a part of Mother Nature’s landscape indoors by decorating in greens and browns.  My home gives me a sense of comfort with those rich colors and relaxes me in a way that a stark monochromatic home never could.

There really is something golden in the absence of sound.   I am going to spend an hour after work letting the warmth of that orange sun settle on my creamy flesh.  I am going to smile at the red buds on the branches and allow the blues and greens of nature soothe my soul.

What color are you feeling today?

Waging a war with words

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I charge into battle,

head held high,

armed with neither knives nor guns.

My ammunition carries no physical weight.

The only weapon I use to defend myself will not extinguish a life.

My battles are fought with words.

The only dagger I possess is my sharp tongue.

My army is my vocabulary,

my stealth is the thesaurus in my brain.

My mind is the only weapon that doesn’t need a holster.

(image credit)

Crash – 100 Word Song

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My elders warned me – ‘life moves at a million miles an hour’.

When you are young and full of disdain for authority, you make up your own rules,  you choose to believe what you want to believe.  So I kept pace, moving along at that million miles an hour.

Who knew I would crash into my future self at such a young age?  Who could have predicted my youth would come to such a screeching halt?

All I can do now is sort through the wreckage and try to put the pieces of the carnage of my life back together.

my-vows

 (image credit)

~~

Written for the 100 Word Song Challenge at My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog.  This week’s song is Crash by The Primitives.   Go check out the fun challenge and join in!!

 

 

 

 

 

The last selfless act

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family

I have been thinking about my mom a lot over the last week.  Every time something happens or I hear something I think she would enjoy, I reach for the phone forgetting she won’t be there to answer.  She was a big part of my day-to-day life.  We were very close and talked on the phone at least once a day.  Having that routine so abruptly altered is taking a great deal of adjustment and an overwhelming amount of tears.

During our lifetime, my mother had done many things for my brother and I without ever second guessing her motivation.  She was a mother first and everything else came second.  She would constantly put our needs ahead of her own.  She consoled us, cried for us and cried with us, she gave us every tool possible to become the strong, independent people we are today.

Up to her last breath she followed that mantra.  Although my mom had been sick for quite a while, the week leading up to her passing was one of her best in a long time.  She was feeling “fine”, physically better than she had in months and her spirit was completely lifted.  I have heard from many who have had a similar experience with their loved one – they seemed to rally back before their passing and it gave those around them that comfort of remembering their departed loved ones with more joy than sadness.

Her last selfless act as a mother was to leave us with memories of her being happy and not being sick.  The last day I spent with her was just like hanging out with her 20 years ago.  Her sense of humor was quick and twisted, and she had that spark in her eye that I remember so well.

I dream of her often and see her in little signs that she leaves in random things.  We miss you, mom, and hope you are enjoying those Angel wings.  You certainly deserve them.  xo

 

 

Everyone is an artist – 100 Word Song

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reflection2

Like a charcoal sketch,

I see myself outlined his eyes,

I see my silhouette as he sees me.

So vastly different

from my reflection in the mirror.

But I follow deep into the abyss,

into the portrait he has created of me.

I follow those lines,

to try to see what he sees.

In my mind I trace the outline

following each stroke of the pencil.

And I journey

as deep as I can go,

swimming in his reality of me,

truly understanding how he sees me.

I may have changed  a few lines,

but to him I am perfection.

~~

Written for the 100 Word Song Challenge at My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog.  This week’s song is Deep As You Go, by October Project.

Go and check it out if you haven’t been there!!

Why are you fighting?

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Every day I wake,

the inner dialogue begins.

A taunt here, a few bad words there,

the cycle continues.

You asked me,

why are you fighting?

For me it is simple,

I continue to fight

until I feel like I’m good enough.

~~

gargle158

Written for the Gargleblaster – this week was an interesting task and, sadly, it took me back to my teenage years.

This week we’re paying tribute to Gabriel García Márquez, who was (in our humble opinion) one of the greatest writers of the last century. This week’s ultimate question comes to us from One Hundred Years of Solitude:

“Tell me something, old friend: why are you fighting?”

A few lines of latitude

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I consider myself to be an extremely lucky person.  I am fortunate enough to call many people friends and have them reciprocate that sentiment.  There was a saying I remember hearing as a teenager that really stuck with me –  “Friends are the family you choose for yourself”.

Earth-May3

(image credit: planet–earth.ca)

My friends are scattered far and wide.  Some I get to spend many hours with and share philosophies and laughter and others are located in other cities, provinces and countries, even continents.  Some I have never met face to face.  We also share the same ideals and sense of camaraderie but we do it through cyber space and across the blogosphere.

There are no lines of latitude or longitude that can divide a friendship.  Those relationships can span time and distance and there is great comfort knowing that the strength in those friendships gives us the ability to pick up where we left off even after months of being apart.

I have received an overwhelming amount of support from all of my friends, near and far.  Whether they are known in my physical reality or in my cyber reality, the strength and encouragement I have been given has been monumental to getting me through a very trying time.

I wanted to say thank you to all of my friends for really being there for me and sending your words of love and optimism.  Although by kilometers and miles we may seem worlds apart, your words bring you close and keep you in my heart.

Night skies and fortunate eyes

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I am spoiled.  I live in the most beautiful part of Ontario that offers an abundance of stunning scenery, unending lakes and breathtaking landscapes.  There are moments that I’m sure I take it for granted but most of the time I remind myself how fortunate I am to be living in such a paradise.

starry night

And with all of the beauty that presents itself during the daylight hours, the sun pulls up the blanket of the horizon and the night-time emerges to share its splendor. The nocturnal winter creatures echo their cries into the vast blackness and the stars tentatively begin to dot the evening sky in their familiar patterns.

The spectral portrait of twinkling lights is awe-inspiring and, if the skies are clear, it is something we are lucky enough to see every night. I forget that city dwellers are not as blessed because their sight lines are lost in a jungle of concrete, street lamps and high rises.

Looking back a few years I was fortunate enough to be in Toronto in August of 2003 when the lights went off across the Eastern Seaboard.  Yes I said fortunate and I was in many ways.  I was staying with friends at Yonge and Sheppard and was to meet more friends for dinner at Yonge and Eglinton.  I was supposed to take the subway but was short on time and took a cab instead.  It escaped my attention through the first few intersections that the street lights were extinguished and, as we sailed through block after block, we began to assimilate to the slowing of traffic and the lack of store lights.  The city was getting dark. Had I been taking the subway I would have been trapped in a blackened metal tomb as opposed to looking in wonder at a bustling city slowing to a crawl in almost complete darkness.

The barbeque dinner was fun and certainly memorable but the most remarkable part of the night was the masses of people on the sidewalks staring up at the night sky after the sun had set.  The stars that I see on a regular basis were seen by so many eyes for what seemed like the first time.  They stood in complete reverence and the sound of silence descended on a city known for its bedlam and pandemonium.  The constellations brought peace to a city of calamity.

Strangers on the street that may have passed each other numerous times without a second glance were now sharing a small piece of the sidewalk, but not only that, they were sharing a small piece of heaven.  Those stars, no matter which province, which country or which hemisphere we are in, connect us.

That Eastern Seaboard blackout was a moment of serendipity – a fortunate accident that allowed many to gaze upon the panorama of stars that would otherwise be oblivious to them. It seemed to bring a sense of peace and fellowship to a city so bent on individuality and alienation.  I didn’t know that in that moment under the same starry sky that I sometimes take for granted that I could appreciate my life that much more. Since that fortuitous experience I make it a point to look at those stars as often as I can.

On the nights that we are fortunate to have a clear sky, I always take a moment to stand in the darkness, regardless of the temperature, and wish with childlike abandon that I will see a shooting star. Carpe noctem – seize the night, seize all of the wonder it has to offer and make sure to wish on that falling star.

What would your wish be?

 

From Root to Tip

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tree

(image credit: photo.net)

We are an eclectic band of misfits. Each branch of my family tree is twisted and unique. But life in my forest has been full of adventure and laughter. From the moment our family tree took root it was nourished by humor, surrounded by love and encouraged to branch out in any direction it was drawn towards.

The apples that fall from that tree do not stray far and we enjoy the camaraderie that only like-minded semi-delusional people can share.  We are nuts but we are family.

I had recently told a tale, based solely in fact, about how my brother tricked me into eating a petrified piece of dog excrement when I was only five years old. Although I was traumatized as a child, I can now see the humor in the “incident”. Perhaps that humor comes with the foreshadowing of future revenge but we are family and it is divine to forgive. (nobody said anything about forget)

It is my brother’s birthday today. I awoke thinking of this day as his pilgrimage into his 50th year. The common lines of the happy birthday song didn’t seem to do justice to our relationship and this new version flooded my brain at 7:00 am.

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you.

You’re one terrific brother,

but you made me eat poo.

I can only hope he finds as much humor and enjoyment in our gnarled family tree as I do. From root to tip we are certainly an odd bunch, but I wouldn’t want to hang from any other tree!

Happy birthday Jamie!! Love you.  xx